I like to think honesty and transparency is the best policy.
Yet I’m a private person who shares very little.
So I keep a lot to myself.
The truth is, I’m no an open book.
Sharing my life on Facebook doesn’t come natural.
I’m not a selfie taker.
I’m not a ‘life needs to be marketed’ marketer.
I’m not take a picture of everything kind of guy.
I like to sit.
I enjoy observing life.
I take it all in.
I watch… listen… take my time.
So transparency and honesty, doesn’t come easy to me.
My go-to instinct is to keep in; lock it away.
I solve problems on my own.
I delve into my own mind.
And at times, this is great.
Often, this is where my best ideas comes from.
BUT…
It isn’t the answer.
You cannot do ‘this’ on your own.
We all need another.
We’re all part of a village.
And such communitas requires openness; vulnerability; honesty.
And technically speaking, it’s so easy to do these days.
With Instagram and Snapchat and Facebook et al… we are always connected. We can share our life and all our life with anyone and everyone. And many people do… at least, they seem to on the surface.
They share this, that, and the other.
They snap you, me, and them.
They are everywhere, and they share everything.
Except… do they?
The fact is, we see what they want us to see.
We hear what they decide to tell us.
And here lies the problem, to folk like myself
(maybe folk like you)
Because we’re lead to believe that such transparency is easy.
That being honest is easy.
That being na open book is easy.
Because we see so many people sharing so much.
We assume it’s easy for them.
We presume that because we ‘see’ their story, we know their whole tale.
We do not.
We only see what they show us.
And if the news has taught us anything of late…
… people have secrets.
I think everyone suffers with this to a certain degree.
It’s a worry and dilemma for many.
But for today’s young, online driven, entrepreneurial-minded person it’s harder than most. Because here in this online-driven world, you see so much success.
… the jets.
… the luxury.
… the six-figure this.
… the seven-figure that.
So many people make it look so easy.
So easy that we assume we should be able to have it too.
That we should have what they have.
That if we don’t, we’re not worthy; not there yet.
So we share a little, but not the truth.
We share what we want other people to see.
This protects us.
This keeps us safe.
This holds out fear at arms length.
But those who brim with success too only show us what they want to see. They don’t highlight the failures. They don’t take picture of the panic attack. They don’t video the moments standing in front of the mirror as they want to give up.
They don’t write articles about the shame, guilt, insecurity, and anxiety.
And when folk do share the failure, mistakes, and hardships… they once again place it in a filter. They don’t mean to. They mean to share the truth and nothing but.
Yet often, they do not.
They present a version of it; a version they are willing to share.
And the rest… they keep it within.
… a secret.
… a fear.
… a moment they want to share, but not right now.
For as Gillian Welch says, “I wanna do right, but not right now.”
We want to be honest and transparent and let it all out.
But not now.
Now, we will share only what we feel comfortable with.
… the success.
… the wins.
… the glory.
… the results we love.
And the failure… well sure, we share those too.
But we put it through a filter.
… I failed, but then I won.
… for years I was unhappy, but not now.
… I was in debt, but these days I have it all.
And. You. Can. Too.
The thing is, we don’t listen to the person who is still in debt.
We don’t give time to the individual working through a failure right now.
We want to hear from them when they have made it through the other side. Because although we say we’re open to failure, all we desire is success.
And this is why it’s hard to be transparent and truthful and open in this society of cyber success. We see those who have made it. We see the smiles. We see the glory.
We rarely see the pain.
… the sleepless nights.
… the depression.
… the hurt.
And when we do, it’s when they’ve made it through.
Or worse… when they didn’t .
(and it’s all too late, because their time is spent)
The honest fact is, we are all vulnerable.
We are all fragile.
We are all human.
Not a single person reading this has it ‘figured out’.
Not a person you know is free from angst.
Not a person on this planet is without hurt.
Yet this is not what we see.
This is not what’s on your newsfeed.
But this is the truth.
So remember this, when you say the guy or gal or cloud nine.
They too are human.
They too are fragile.
They too cry and feel helpless.
They too need help.
So for just a second, take a break from this cyber of success.
Breathe.
Be human.
Give yourself a break.
Feel, and allow yourself to feel it.
And then, once you’re finished, go back to your purpose.
Make a difference, for you and those you serve.
