I sit on the bank, by the water’s edge.
Looking around me, I take it all in.
The sight of nature, green and blue.
The smell of fauna, alive and lush.
The sound of animals, big and small.
The taste so fresh it tickles my tongue.
I look at my ring, it dear to me.
Twirl it between fingers, catching it in the light.
Look beyond it and to the water’s glisten.
Gentle and still, lapping ever so slightly against the shore.
Closing my eyes, I breathe deep.
As my lungs fill I let yet more air in.
Peace. At peace. This is happiness.
I hold onto it for a second. Just feel it.
Am present enough to experience it.
In an instant, it’s gone.
My nerve-ends stand on end.
A rush of adrenaline rushes over me.
I feel it in my heart, my breath and my chest.
I open my eyes to a bird just above, screeching as it flies past.
My hands have tensed, fingers losing grip of the ring so dear.
As though in slow motion, I watch it fall into the water.
Splash. Ripples spread out, the water no longer still.
My heart kicks up a gear, panicked and forced into action.
Without thinking I plunge my hand into the water.
I pant. I mumble. I curse the bird.
I push and prod and wave my arm in circles.
No luck. I submerge my other into the chilled pond.
Here I am, upto my shoulders; lips inches from the splashing.
I’ve created a storm below, kicked up dirt and picked up mess.
No longer blue, the water’s brown, green and with patches of black.
I see nothing. I feel nothing but dirt. A rock. A stick.
A something, I do not know what that us.
But no ring. No ring that’s so dear to me. The thought of losing it…
Chest tight.
Body tense.
Mind a mess.
Why, bird, why did you have to do it.
This is your fault. I was sitting here, peaceful.
And yet you came for no reason at all. Why me.
Why me, you goddam bird.
The once still water now rages with rapids.
Mt ring. It is lost. It is lost forever.
What will I do?
What will…
“Stop.”
A voice. A figurative one, i think.
But maybe literal. It’s hard to tell.
“Stop. Be patient. Be still.”
I take a deep breath. Another. Another. Force it into my lungs and hold it there. No longer peaceful like before, but enough to sooth the panic.
I feel it: my heart slowing, chest loosening, mind easing…
Another breath. Another one. Another.
Removing my arms from the water, I sit.
Close my eyes.
Quieten that voice.
The dangerous one.
Listen to the other.
The calmer version.
I open my eyes and take it all in.
The sight of nature, green and blue.
The smell of fauna, alive and lush.
The sound of animals, big and small.
The taste so fresh it tickles my tongue.
More breathe, each one seeming to soothe my soul.
And there, as I look down to the tranquil water…
A shimmer of light, dancing beneath the surface.
I smile, it radiating my face and warming my throat.
There you are.
I reach in, wrap fingers around it.
Pull it out, shake it dry.
Push it into my chest and hold on tight.
It’s back. Yet it didn’t go anywhere.
It was there, just below me, all this time.
Impossible to see it as the water churned.
Yet clear as day in its natural state.
